The Live Feed: The 2008 MLB All-Star Game
By: Matt Burke
Ahhh, the Mid-Summer Classic. So old, yet so new. So lame, yet so exciting. The highlight of every kid’s summer. The lowlight of every adult’s sports year.
The drama. The pageantry. The ever-lasting chance that Bud Selig could make it end in a tie at any moment. Seriously, there’s nothing quite like the MLB All-Star Game. That’s why we at The Live Feed kept a, well, sort of Live Feed of the 2008 edition on Tuesday night.
6:41 PT: Da’ Feed is coming to you ’”ive” and DVR’d from San Diego, CA. Why DVR’d? Because it would be an absolute bitch to not fast-forward through a FOX baseball telecast … let alone one that’s an exhibition.
6:43: Joe Buck and an exhausted Tim McCarver welcome us to Yankee Stadium for one last time at the All-Star Game. Fun Fact: Did you know this is Yankee Stadium’s last year of existence? I hadn’t really heard.
6:44: Ladies and gentlemen, the history of Yankee Stadium. I must admit I am a sucker for history, particularly sports history, but much like everything else, Mike and the Mad Dog have put a damper on this whole thing for me, due to the fact that Francesa constantly moans about how the “second Yankee Stadium” (the one hosting tonight’s game) has little resemblance to the first one. In other words tonight’s Yankee Stadium has had more facelifts than Joan Rivers and Janice Dickenson combined! … Budum-Ching! Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week! Please, try the veal and remember to tip your waitress!
6:45: With all this nostalgia, we best be getting Bob Sheppard tonight.
6:46: Damn it all to Steinbrenner … just googled it and found out that Shep is still not well enough to resume his duties. A crying shame … even for a Red Sox fan. Afterall, “the voice of God” unifies us all … “Numba Two.”
6:48: Fast-forwarding through what looks like a post-op Jeanne Zelasko. It’s a true step down from Erin Andrews at the Home Run Derby just one night before (Shying away from making a crude joke about Josh Hamilton trippin’ after taking one look at Erin’s backside).
7:15: A true treat to see a Red Sox manager in the Home dugout at Yankee Stadium. Seriously, that is more of a prize from winning the ‘07 World Series than A. The Commissioner’s trophy itself and B. Meeting President Bush … not that that’s saying much because A. The World Series trophy is painfully ugly and B. Well, ya know.
7:17: Tony Gwynn looking like he’s about to pop and/or get blasted by Ray, Peter and Egon’s stream. Don’t cross the streams guys! That’s Tony Gwynn down there!
7:18: Rollie Fingers mustache: still ridiculous. Still awesome.
7:19: Wade Boggs wearing a Yankees hat. Ewww. Just for that Wade?You want to throw cheap shots? One word: Margo.
The Live Feed: Red Sox-Orioles; July 13, 2008
By: Matt Burke
10:31 PT: Chip Carey and Ron Darling welcomes us to the “City of Champions.” Does that mean Chip has inside knowledge of who is going to be “TitleTown USA?” Ya know, cause I’m on the edge of my contrived seat.
10:33: Chip throws it to some guy named Bob Fiscella in the TBS studio. This whole MLB on TBS thing is still a bit peculiar. It has that same “NBA on ESPN” feel after more than a decade of being subject to the finest NBA production of all-time on NBC. In those cases you tend to be a bit cynical toward the new product. Anything that feels “new” is a bad thing. You know how the bread is supposed to be buttered.
10:36: They show that MLB All-Star commercial with the Yankee Stadium fences circling round NYC while “Lazy Eye” by the SilverSun Pickups (don’t ask) blares in the background. I can’t help but notice that they show all these NYC penthouses with A-Rod’s Godzilla-like figure roaming in and around each one. Yup, that sounds about right.
10:41: Dice-K looking decidedly uninterested in the top of the first, allowing two guys to reach.
10:46: Ron Darling tells us that Dice-K is a nibbler. Can we please get a new adjective for this guy? I’ve already had quite enough of “Dice-K, the Boston nibbler,” and it’s only been in circulation for a good month or so. It’s your classic case of Red Sox fans getting a bit too involved in the mechanics and tendencies of each starter. I recall trying to predict what type of game Derek Lowe would have after trying to see if each of his pitches were “trailing” or not. If you want me to explain what that means, today is not the day.
10:51: Wind whips around Fenway and Pedroia reaches first on a Baltimore error.
10:53: JD Drew goes opposite field and buries the ball into the left field corner. Beautifully done. I never thought I’d be legitimately excited each time JD Drew stepped into the batter’s box. I now understand the facination, it is true. 1-0, Sox.
10:56: Daniel Cabrera, who looks like a black and somewhat coordinated Gheorghe Muresan on the mound starts messing around with Manny. A little sweet chin music here, some knee-scraping fastballs there.
10:58: In today’s “You Just Knew That Was Coming” segment, brought to you by JiffyLube, Chip Carey tells us that Daniel Cabrera was once a basketball player … sigh … This whole All-Star break thing can’t come soon enough … for EVERYONE.
10:59: Inning over as Mike Lowell’s fly to center never drops.
11:02: Dice-K nibbles sum mo. Walk. I’d give you the name of the guy he walked but I honestly haven’t been able to name more than three Orioles at a time since Mike Bordick and Robby Alomar were roaming the infield.
11:08: Jay Payton, who’s departure from the Red Sox went about as smoothly as Shea Hillenbrand’s, reaches first.
11:09: Payton steal. Varitek comes out to “talk” to Dice-K.
11:11: Dice-K weasels out of the inning as Chip says, “we’ll be right back from Fenway Paaaahk.” Ewww. Continue reading…
Red Sox-Yankees Live Feed: July 6, 2008
By: Matt Burke
Ahhh, Sunday Night baseball. The perfect way to ease into your week.
Nothing quite like three straight hours of Joe Morgan to inspire you to give a lackluster and incompetent effort at work for the next five days.
“We’re all just happy to be here folks. On this planet. In this universe. It’s a great thing.”
But while this space should have been used for non-stop, unadulterated Joe, instead our first Live Feed of an MLB game this season will be used for the finest modern-day, real-life soap opera storyline: Ladies and Gents, int-ero-ducing ALEX RODRIGUEZ and the Material Girl herself, MADONNA!!!!!
4:59:Seriously, they’re actually playing a baseball game tonight?!!! I would be just fine with Jon Miller, Joey Morgs, Don Orsillo, Jerry Remy, John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman all coming together and holding a roundtable discussion on the social and cultural impact of MATERIAL-ROD!!!!
5:00:A strangely irritating group of Red Sox and Yankees fans spout Fourth of July cliches.
5:01: The old baseball cards flip before us as the Sunday Night Baseball theme begins to play (it’s seriously grown on me over the years) and Jon Miller welcomes us. Great play-
by-play guy but he’s not exactly Matt Vasgersian in the looks department (so I’ve been told). Seriously, it’s getting to the point where Miller looks a little too close to being Playboy Buddy Rose’s long-lost twin. —>
5:09:Miller tells us that thousands of flashbulbs light up as Joba Chamberlain throws his first pitch of the night. Me thinks Yankees fans are already anointing this load Roger Clemens 2.0 - HGH. Can we at least get three or four years into someone’s career before we put them in Cooperstown? I mean this guy is on what his third, fourth career START? The rush to judgement these days is, as Mad Dog Russo would say, “a bit much and tough to take.”
5:19:Legendary PA announcer Bob Sheppard introduces Derek Jeter … “Numba Two.” I hadn’t heard from him all season and was convinced he was dead. A quick Wikipedia report says that he is now 97 years old. Yikes.
5:23: Note to self. DVR RAW.
5:24: Done. Good boy.
5:25:Youk gets the first Sox hit of the night off of Joba the load. For various reasons, namely their propensity to over-celebrate, Sox fans hate Joba as much as Yankees fans hate Youk.
Celtics In Here and Now Mode
By: Matt Burke
It’s the old “potential” vs. “the sure thing” deal.
At various points throughout the past 15 or so years I was loving the potential of Jerome Moiso, Eric Montross, Junior Burroughs, Jiri Welsch and Kedrick Brown.
But then Danny Ainge got in the way and won a 17th banner … the nerve.
Now my annual draft party has no clout and I pay little to no attention to college basketball unless UConn is playing. Fast-forwarding through the draft last Thursday (thought I’d never do that), I could have cared less.
I barely knew any of the players due to the fact that A. I watched 78 of the 82 regular season Celtics games instead of college basketball; and B. I didn’t monitor any of the good players because I knew the Celtics would be drafting late.
It’s your classic sports give-’n-take, supply and demand argument. Crappy NBA team = watch more college ball. Great NBA team = watch little to no college ball.
If you can pull off both, well, you need to get some semblance of a social life. I mean, I only got so many hours in a week folks and obviously I have other hobbies. Ya know like pretending to like the taste of wine in front of your girlfriend before reminding yourself that you simply like the “taste” of alcohol alone.
This is justly followed by you burying yourself into a Pabst Blue Ribbon 30-rack for the rest of the weekend.
Ya know, those type of hobbies take priority over watching New Mexico State vs. Nevada on a depressing Saturday afternoon. That and that alone was why the draft was so lackluster for many Celtics fans.
With the Celtics bringing home No. 17, I am through with potential for the foreseeable future. Gimme the here and now and the here and now brings me to Corey Maggette. He got a rise out of me when I heard his name sprikled about, even though I have no need for underachieving Duke trash running up and down my Garden floor.
Nonetheless he would give the Celtics a great scoring option and would almost lock them into the Finals for 2009.
“Potential” vs. “the sure thing.”
Bill Walker and J.R. Giddens vs. James Posey and Corey Maggette.
Gimme the latter.
Afterall, more times than not the former ends up playing in Spain.
America Gone Soft
By: Matt Burke
“They like to act tough, she like to tow ‘em off, She make ‘em straighten up their hat cause she know they soft …”
Unfortunately nearly all of America could use a lesson from Kanye West’s old flame back in Lake Michigan.
America, as a whole, needs to straighten up their hat these days, because we’ve truly all gone soft.
Look no further than all of the absurd media blowups/stories from this past week.
First there was the Jemele Hill/Hitler fiasco, then the Johnny Miller-Rocco Mediate bull, followed by a new version of Imus-gate and finally the great Shaq/Kobe fued coming to a head.
The true issue surrounding all of the above controversies is that none of them really should be controversies and that everyone (in the words of an actual racist; the Ultimate Warrior) needs to climb off their politically correct horse.
In an era where new technology allows us to dissect and analyze everyone’s words, we’ve taken everything way too literal. There is no such thing anymore as a conversation about a controversial topic. Instead people just post, text, and stream derogatory comments, the modern day equivalent of standing on a soap box and claiming that everyone should be fired from their job.
Anything that is remotely offensive is cause for a fireable offense these days. That’s fine in most lines of work. However, in the media, people’s jobs ARE to have controversial opinions in many cases.
Stories to Last a Lifetime: The Journey to #17
By: Matt Burke
Celtics fans under 30-years-old lived the Celtics mystique through DVDs, ESPN Classic, worn VHS tapes and never-ending tales from their parents.
As of July 30, 2007, any semblance of mystique was dead, buried and rotting.
“The good ol’ days” was the only phrase that symbolized the Boston Celtics and nearly everyone who was once a true Celtics fan either gave up alltogether or turned their attention elsewhere (i.e. the Red Sox and Patriots).
There literally was no reason to follow what was a pathetic bunch. Unless, of course, you were a sick and twisted individual, like myself.
The sick and twisted thought the basketball gods were punishing the Celtics for all their past glory.
The 30-year old and younger Celtics fan heard how Len Bias was Michael Jordan Part Deux. But it was OK. Afterall, Reggie Lewis and Dee Brown were the backcourt of the future. They would carry the torch for sure.
The 1993 season was highlighted by Larry Bird Night. Magic Johnson donned a Celtics uniform underneath his Laker warm-ups and it was, indeed, a magical moment. But that night, February 4, 1993, was the beginning of a long line of hearkening back on the past, due to the fact that the present and future was just so damn bleak.
Later that season, the young Celtics fan remembers a Kevin McHale-led Celtics team giving an upstart Charlotte Hornets squad a run for their money. But just when it seemed Boston was set for another decade of championship contention, Reggie Lewis began jogging awkwardly and slowly down the left side of the parquet.
He fell down like someone had shot him with a tranquilizer dart.
It was scary. So scary that my dad felt the need to tell me the story of Hank Gathers … if only he wasn’t so prophetic.
That Summer Dr. Gilbert Mudge (yes, I unfortunately remember his name the way most kids remember their favorite childhood outfielder) said Reggie was fine to continue his professional basketball career. Days later, he collapsed and died while shooting around at Brandeis University.
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